This is an Internet page with a lot of funny differences between men and women. Humor is often based on exaggeration and many of the jokes on this page are exaggerations sometimes a grain of truth. Nevertheless, also with humor sometimes indicate the pain spot and a joke can also lead to insight. But whether you just have to laugh, or learn something, I hope you enjoy this page with jokes and funny stories about the differences between men and women. Regards, Hein Pragt.
When men tell women jokes you often see that women do not laugh about typical "men's jokes" but most men do. Exactly the same thing happens the other way around, most men think that women cannot tell funny jokes. From an early age there are clear differences between boys and girls in the use of humor. If you look carefully you can see the differences even in the kindergarten, boys show more initiative to humorous activities, they tell jokes and play the fool and make funny faces, while most girls are quieter but often laugh at the jokes made by the boys. Even in mature people we see the same behavior, men think that women have a sense of humor when women laugh at their jokes, and most women think that a man has a sense of humor when he acts funny.
One day, three men make a trip through the jungle and reach the side of at a furious raging river. They have no idea how to cross this river and therefore the first man decides to ask God: "Please, God, give me strength to cross this river!" Then the muscles in his arms and legs start growing and he manages to cross the river swimming with a big struggle to the other site in a few hours, almost drowning twice. The second man sees this and prays to God: "Please, God, give me strength and tool to cross this river! " Out of nowhere there appears a boat and while rowing for a few hours he crosses the river also almost drowning twice. The third man sees this and and prays: "Please God, give me the strength, the tool and the wisdom to cross this river! " He immediately changes into a woman and she looks at the map, walks a few hundreds of meters upstream and crosses the bridge to the other side.
When God had created the world he visited Adam and Eve in paradise and he said. "I still have two nice features to give to you, the first is the ability to urinate standing up". That's mine the man said enthusiastically and he ran off to find a tree. God laughs and says to the woman: "well then you will get the second one, here you have the ability of multiple orgasms".
Recent studies show the presence of female hormones in beer and men should now be concerned about their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men will turn into women, or at least show a lot of female behavior. It was tested on 100 men that each drank 10 glassese of good quality beer within a one hour period. After this hour scientists observed that 100% of the test subjects showed the same behavior:
|De woman says this||This is what it really means|
|I am sorry...||It will happen the way I want it!|
|We want...||I want...|
|Do what you want to do||You're gonna regret this!|
|We need to talk...||Sit down, shut op and listen to what I have got to say...|
|Just go.||Please stay.|
|I am not angry.||Of caurse I am angry!|
|The kitchen floor is getting bad||I want a new house!|
|I would really like new curtains.||I want to redecorate the entire livingroom and I want a dishwasher.|
|I think I heard something||I don't want you to fall asleep yet!|
|Do you really love me?||I'm gonna tell you something you are not going to like.|
|Please, 2 minutes patience.||Take your time this will take at least half an hour.|
|Do you think I am overweighted?||Please tell me I'm beautiful or you'll regret it.|
|You have to learn to communicate better.||Shut up and listen!|
|I do not yell!||Yes, of course I am yelling, otherwise you dont listen!|
|The man says this||This is what it really menans|
|I am hungry.||I am hungry.|
|I am sleepy.||I am sleepy.|
|I am tired.||I ams tired.|
|Will you go to the movies with me?||Do you want to go to bed with me?|
|Can I take you out for dinner?||Do you want to go to bed with me?|
|May I call you?||Do you want to go to bed with me?|
|Will you go dancing with me?||Do you want to go to bed with me?|
|Nice dress!||Do you want to go to bed with me and can I can take it off?|
|You seem tensed, shall I give you a massage?||Do you want to go to bed with me?|
|I feel bored.||Do you want to go to bed with me?|
|I love you||I want to go to bed with you!|
|Yes, I really love you too.||Yes, lets stop talking and go to bed.|
|Lets talk||I would like to convince you to go to bed with me.|
|Will you marry me?||I don't want you to sleep with any other guy.|
The woman is often angry about:
1. What he did do;
2. What he did not do.
3. somthings he wants to do;
4. things he does not want to do.
reasonable, or not?
In the first year the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year both speak and the neighbors listen.