Men versus women pages

Until 1990 I was convinced that the differences between men and women were purely physical and a small part psychological. When I first did some therapy in 1990, together with my wife I started to read the books of John Gray about men and women (Mars and Venus) and I got very interested. Then I read all of John Gray's books and my views about men and women changed. I started to read more books about the differences between men and women but unfortunately this insight was not sufficient to get our relationship on track again. After many years of therapy the marriage unfortunately failed and a lot of reading and a course in social psychology got me a little knowledge why this all happened but in retrospect I realized that we were too different as a person and it was not the differences between men versus women that caused the divorce. Many of the books and studies on differences between men and women are generally speaking about the average man and the average woman and in my experience there are many differences between men and women but a lot of them are also caused by personality. In one of my relationships the differences seemed to be completely reversed, sometimes a man has more female aspects and a woman can have male aspects. In addition men and women also have many similarities and this makes it even more interesting. I am still reading a lot on the topic especially when it comes to research on the brain. I am not a expert on this topic and I am also not a therapist, on these pages I write about my experiences and the way I think about it. It's not science, but I hope you will enjoy reading my articles. Sincerely, Hein Pragt.

Differences men and women

Men women humor

 

Nice to know about men.

(C) 2013 Hein Pragt

Why do men retreat when they have problems.

Most men tend to "retreat to their cave" for some time when he has problems to solve. They don't want to talk about their problems and refuse help. This behavior is sometimes hard to understand for a women, she wants to communicate and help the other person that has problems. The average man does not want help, he wants to be left alone and he will not ask for help, not even from his best friends. John Gray, the author of the Mars and Venus books, describes several reasons for this behavior. The man wants to solve his problems himself and that is why he needs time alone to think without distraction. When a man thinks about problems he uses the right brain in order to analyze the problem and because the average man is not good in doing several things at the same time, he wants to be left alone. The average man cannot simultaneously solve a problem and listen and talk at the same time. Most men often think inside their head as opposed to women who usually think aloud. When the man has solved his problems or came up with a solution, the man will return but a lot of women don't understand this behavior because they cannot understand this based on their own experiences. When the average woman has a problems they will ask another woman for help and talk about the problems. Also a lot of men don't' understand this behavior of women because it's the opposite of their behavior. The man will returns from the cave when he has solved his problems and at that point he will be able to talk about it. But sometimes the man returns from the cave and has nothing to say because he has realized that it was not really a problem and there was nothing going on. For women this is sometimes hard to understand because they cannot accept that difficult problems can go away without talking about it. When a woman knows about this "men behavior" she can feel confidence that he needs some time alone but he will come back. It has a lot to do with thrust in each other and knowing why the other gender is doing things the opposite way.


Why are men more aggressive.

In general, men tend to be more aggressive than women, the cause of this is the typical male hormone testosterone. Testosterone is the hormone of success, achievement and competition, and it is made by the male testes. The behavior of men and male animals is largely controlled by this hormone. This often begins in childhood where boys generally have more interest in aggressive games and challenging sports and boys often watch more violent movies than most girls. A study at the University of Sydney found that 74 percent of boys verbally or physically get aggressive when they are faced with a conflict as a fight in the schoolyard. Boys often use aggression to solve a problem, girls on the other hand often try to run away, or in 78 percent on the situation try to negotiate. Sounding a horn in traffic is mostly done by men, while 96 percent of the robberies and 88 percent of the murders are done by men. (Source: Allan & Barbera Pease) Aggression is a male type of thing that can't be explained as a learned behavior, studies in athletes shows that their testosterone level is much higher at the end of a game because apparently completion increases the aggression levels. This can also explain the use of cheerleaders to raise the testosterone levels of both players and spectators.

Nice to know about women.

(C) 2013 Hein Pragt

Things that most women can do better than men!


Why most women can generally lie more convincing than men!

Since most women pay more attention to the body language of the other person while communicating, most women flawlessly can determine if that other person is lying. This is mostly caused by the fact that the different parts of her brain work very well together so she can make a good connections between the spoken words and the visual information of the body-language and facial expressions. Most women are superior in reading and interpreting body-language because in the evolution women were trained to discover abnormalities in a group of women and children fast and efficient. Today women still have this ability while most man do not have this. This is why a man cannot lie to a woman because his body-language is not in line with the words they say ,and women notice that immediately. In the other case, most women are able to lie flatly in the face of a man without him noticing anything strange because men pay more attention to the words spoken and not on watching body-language. When a man want to lie to a woman he is better of using a phone, email or do it in the dark because then their body-language cannot betray them.


Why is romance so important for most women?

For most women, romance is very important, romance helps the woman to become aware of her feminine side and gives women the feeling that the man longs for her. In the beginning of a relationship most man are usually very romantic towards the woman, he is able to pay a lot of attention to the woman and show her how much he cares for her and how special he thinks she is. However, after the first challenge is taken and the woman is his, most man lose this romantic behavior. If the woman has to ask her man to hold her, to show some affection or to do something romantic most women will see this as a confirmation that they are not supported and the man show little interest in her. This neglect can cause a woman to gradually lose interest in her partner and she will often get a bad mood and lose interest in physical intimacy. Romance gives women the special attention and support which they need to feel attracted to her partner. When a man takes a woman in his arms, (without ulterior motives) which is a sign of attention and romance or make a compliment, just take a job off your hands, handing a coat or holding a door for her show her that she is special, it's a small gift that indicates that he appreciates her. And when a man can give his wife some spontaneous romance then this will naturally also create a very pleasant opening to for instance physical intimacy.


Why do most women need more sleep than men!

I read about some US researchers that say they have discovered that the brains of women need more time to recover during sleep, because most women do a lot of multi-tasking during the day. According to researchers at Duke University in North Carolina women perform several actions or processes at the same time, causing the brain to need more time to recover during sleep. Most man do not do a lot of multi-tasking and there brain needs less time to recover at night. Also these researchers concluded that women who sleep too short suffer from morning mood and depression more often than man. During the deep all different parts of the brain that are among other things responsible for thought, memory and language need to recover and that recovery time expands if these parts of the brain are used more often during the day. This is especially true for women, but also men with demanding jobs that need a lot of thinking and communication need a longer sleep. According to the researchers this need for sleep can be compensated by taking an afternoon nap, but no longer than ninety minutes because then it will increase the need of sleep again.

Last update: 20-07-2016

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