About love and relationship
This is a main page about the topic love and relationship, I have written a lot of articles on the subject love and relationship (mostly in Dutch) based on my own experiences in several relations, marriage and divorce and single parenting. I have had a lot of experiences and counseling and on this website I write about them, to help others and share my experiences in a positive way. Love and relationships have so many aspects that it's almost impossible to describe everything and even now people still write new love poems and love songs. It's not easy to give a good definition of the phenomenon of love, musicians, writers and poets make frantic efforts but they too get stuck in vague descriptions. Scientists have also been researching the phenomenon of love for a long time, but they also have a lot of trouble with this beautiful but elusive phenomenon. I hope you will enjoy my writing, regards, Hein Pragt
Copyright © Hein Pragt.
love and relationship pages
Love and reciprocity
reciprocity in a love relationship is the feeling that giving and receiving are in balance. Reciprocity can be explained in a business sense as the mutual obligation to respond to a gift or manifestation with a returning gift or a returning manifestation or consideration. This returning gift, manifestation or consideration can take many forms, it can also be attention, gratitude or solidarity for now or in the future. In love relationships there must be at least a sense of reciprocity, if one of the partners gives more than he or she receives, there will be feelings of debt or obligations.
Read more about love and reciprocity.
Chemistry of love
Strictly speaking, falling in love is simply a caused by a chemical reaction in our body the moment we perceive a compatible person with all of our senses. In recent years there have been indications that humans also use pheromones, many animals use these substances to unconsciously indicate to each other that they are prepared to mate. So for fun we could also speak of love at first smell instead of love at first sight.
Read more about chemistry of love.
Responsibility for your own happiness in a relationship
A common mistake in a relationship is also a very tempting mistake. It's: "Letting your happiness depend on your partner and blaming him or her if you are not happy!" With this message in mind, listening to a lot of pop songs and it is suddenly very disturbing. In many songs the theme is "you make me so happy", "you are everything to me", "I am nothing without you!" and "I cannot live without you!". All these statements indicate that one cannot be happy without the other and thus youre loved one is responsibile for your happiness. When you think about this, people put a very heavy task on the shoulders of their beloved ones. What people actually say is that they make the other person responsible for their happiness because apparently they cannot do it themselves.
The opposite is also common, many people feel unhappy and hold their partner responsible for it. If only he or she was different or more considerate then I would be happy. It's not their own fault, it's the partner's fault. Unfortunately this is asking for misfortune and misery when one places the responsibility for one's own happiness in the hands of the partner. For the partner it is often an impossible task, no matter how much this partner loves you. It's not so that your partner has no share in your happiness and that it is not normal that you feel happy when you are together and that you can be very unhappy if your partner leaves you. Love can be a huge source of happiness and sometimes the source of serious unhappiness when breaking up of a relationship. But unfortunately there are also couples who clearly stand in the way of each other's happiness.
But the essence is that you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness, if your life is not to your liking, you will have to do something about it yourself, change things for yourself or learn to look at it different way. This can sometimes mean making difficult decisions, having unpleasant conversations or sometimes having to compromise. These are all things that come with taking responsibility for your own happiness. No relationship, no matter how good, can take that job from you. In essence, although your relationship is very important to you and you love your partner dearly, you alone are "responsible" for your own happiness and you are not fully "responsible" for your partner's happiness.
By thinking and acting like this you free yourself and your partner from a heavy burden and you can both be normal human beings with all the small mistakes that one has. When you learn that your own disappointment is in your head, that the other person can also be in a bad mood and does not have to be perfect, then you stay with yourself. Taking responsibility for your own happiness paves the way for a relationship based on openness, honesty, and accountability. The only thing you need to learn is that you can become happier by putting the responsibility for your own happiness where it belongs, on yourself.
Ten simple tips for a happy relationship
1. Go to bed together
Couples in love always go to bed at the same time to make love, when the passion has diminished, we forget this simple ritual all too often.
2. Look for common interests
Some couples find out after a while that there are few common interests, don't let it come to that and start looking for them in time. Things that you both enjoy should be maintained, although it is also important to be able to keep your own things.
3. Hold hands
Instead of walking behind or in front of your partner, it is better to walk next to him or her and preferably hand in hand. This way the other person stays physically close and this creates the appearance of connection .
4. Trust and forgive
Both principles are very important, instead of being stubborn and suspicious, trust and forgive that you can ease serious conflicts.
5. Think positive
Those who only focus on what the partner does negatively will slowly suffocate the relationship. Your partner is undoubtedly also doing very well, so focus your attention on that and accentuate the good even more. Happy couples also encourage this together.
6. Hug each other
Our skin is our biggest (love) organ, hug each other when you see each other because couples who do this keep the love alive.
7. Say enough "I love you"
I love you are a few small words that can work wonders every day and they give the partner confidence, strength and peace.
8. Always say goodnight
No matter how angry or disappointed you are, a sincere "goodnight" shows the partner that you still want to invest. A relationship thus remains more important than any conflict.
9. Phone daily
Show the person you love every day that you are thinking about them with a phone call, email or text.
10. Be proud
If you are happy, you also radiate a certain pride, happy couples want to be seen together and show this with subtle affection. A hand on a shoulder, hand in hand, a caress on the back, these are all small intentions that show that you belong together.
Last update: 20-08-2021